Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
God has given us a love worth fighting for!
Nehemiah 4:14 “...Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.”
Friday, December 10, 2010
The day that would have been our fourth child's birthday...this year, his 5th birthday.
The day that I never talk about to anyone...not even those closest to me.
The day that emotionally wears me out.
The day that reminds me every year of the things that I am missing out on.
The day that makes me feel lonely, like no one in the world understands my pain...even though I know that I'm one of many members of the moms-with-babies-they-love-but-have-never-met club. A club that no one...NO ONE...wants to be a part of.
The day that I'm always sure will become less painful as the years go by...but it never is.
The day that makes me want to pull the covers over my head and cry and cry and cry.
The day that, combined with the holidays, makes me miss my babies more than any other time of the year.
The day that I intentionally hang two tiny little stockings up right along side the other four, so that there is a physical rememberance of my tiny children.
The day that I think about how they get the spend Christmas WITH our Savior. They get to celebrate right along side Him. They get to worship Him face to face on His birthday!
The day that, year after year, God reaches down and proves His unmatched love and faithfulness to me.
The day that my heart is once again filled with unspeakable hope and in that hope comes joy and a peace that pass ALL understanding.
Psalm 34:18 "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."
Friday, October 15, 2010
I have two babies in heaven waiting for me. We lost our third baby on September 5, 2004. We lost our fourth baby on June 3, 2005.
I never got to hold, or smell, or snuggle, or kiss my last two babies. I didn't get to know their sweet personalities. I didn't get to see which side of the family they looked like, or if they would have my green eyes or Lee's brown ones, like our other two boys. I didn't get to wake up in the night to feed them, and then to spend those sweet quiet midnight hours of special bonding time snuggling their sweet little selves. I never got hear them say Mama. I didn't get to see Hunter and Braden interact with them or love them like only big brothers could. I didn't get to see Lee rocking and swaying them to sleep, or talking to them in that sweet baby voice, or "get their nose", like only he can. I didn't get to do any of those things...and even now 5-6 years later, my heart hurts and my arms ache thinking about it.
But even now, with tears streaming down my face...I have hope! One day, I will get to hold them, and hug them, and kiss their sweet faces. One day, I will be able to hear them say Mama. One day, all of the hurt will be healed and it will all be worth it. One day, I will know and understand the Sovereignty of God and I will see how all things, even the most painful things, worked together for good! I will have all of eternity to see my babies and worship the Lord together with them.
Thank you Lord for hope!
So tonight, on this special day of rememberance, I'm lighting two candles for my babies who I love, but never knew...
Sunday, October 10, 2010
...many many things lately! I could take this post and talk about of the deep, meaningful things that I love, such as my husband, my kids, my family, my friends, my church, my ministry, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! I'm am so in love with each and every one of those things lately!!! So thankful and full of joy at the blessing being given to me!
I could write an entire post about that...but I'm not going to! Atleast not right now! :)
Instead here are just a few of the "fun" things that I heart lately:
* Mulled Cider Candles from Walmart ~ I have them burning all over my house! They smell soooo good! One of my first "fall" purchases every year! Hands down, my favorite candles!
Almost didn't buy it....SO glad I did! I love it!!! I have "Spice Cake" warming in it right now! It smells so great and it's pretty too!
Oh my!!! Thank you, Lord for tastebuds! Pure joy in a to-go mug!
I know, I know...I was very sceptical at first too...but NOT anymore! DE-lish!!! Very praiseworthy! :)
*My Cute Fall Mugs ~ Because drinking coffee out of a super cute mug just makes my day!
*My Fall decorations ~ Yes yes and yes!!! Love it all, want more, would like to keep it all up year-round!
*And finally......The Fall ~ All of it...every single bit of it! The weather, football, the trees, the crispness in the air, pumpkins, warm comfort food, sweatshirts and sweaters....ALL of it!
Now I think I'm going to light a mulled cider candle, pour me a cup of Peppermint Mocha-ed-up coffee in my cute fall mug, and read on the back porch! I heart lazy fall afternoons! :)
Friday, October 8, 2010
At 7:00pm, Aimee and I are singing a "concert" at a local church! We will be singing a few of the songs that the Lord has given us, and we will also be speaking briefly about our stories. Neither one of us has ever EVER done anything like this before.
It truly makes me shake in my boots(gray suede, to be exact!)!!!
After a mini meltdown in the bathroom just minutes ago, the Lord reminded me of these:
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4
"I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand—I who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth, and who say to Zion, 'You are my people.'" Isaiah 51:16
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while,
'He who is coming will come and will not delay.
But my righteous one will live by faith.
And if he shrinks back,
I will not be pleased with him.'
But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." Hebrews 10:35-39
"When I am afraid, I will trust in You!" Psalm 56:3
"Remember that I commanded you to be strong and brave. Don't be afraid, because the Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go." Joshua 1:9
And so....I'm stepping out of my home and into that church tonight trusting that my God will share His glory with no one! I'm stepping out in faith, knowing that we are being obedient! I might not feel strong or brave right now...but I am, because HE is my strength and my confidence!
Lord, how can I say Thank you! How can I find the words to tell you how much I need! How much I long for You! I love You! Please receive ALL of the honor, glory, and praise in my life!!! You are most deserving and most holy! Be glorified tonight, be glorified forever!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Ever had one of those days, or two, or three, where when each day is finally over you feel like you have been whipped around on a roller coaster and now you just want off that ride? Where you wake up in the morning wondering if you actually had that conversation or if you had just had a bad dream? Where every misunderstanding is shocking to you?
Ever had one of those days, or two, or three, Where you just feel emotionally raw? Where you just want to go crawl up in bed and have a good cleansing cry? Where you really wish you could blame it all on "Aunt Flo" cause at least that would make some sense, but you can't cause it isn't even her week to visit you? Where you just wonder, What the mess...Where did that come from??
Ever had one of those days, or two, or three, where you know that you must cling to the truth of God's word, knowing that He never fails? Where you have to repeat over and over "I am clothed with strength and dignity" (Prov. 31:25) and "Take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5)? Where you have to consistently surrender all those burdens once again to the Lord? Where He is proven once again to be full of love and mercy, as He lifts you up again?
Ya, me too...
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I love that I work for an organization, that despite obstacles, continues to press on in faith and confidence, believing that He is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine!
I love that I get to work for an amazing person who is strong, passionate about what she does, loving, has the utmost integrity, has a marriage that I can look up too, deserves my respect, and can always be trusted! :)
I love the people I work with and their passion for what we do.
I love the life-long friendships that I have made with the great Reality Check employees.
I love that I get to talk to young people about their futures and the consequences, both positive and negative, for the choices that they make.
I love that we talk to them honestly about their sexual activity.
I love giving them up-to-date medical information.
I love being able to finally get them to understand that "Sex is anything, for the top of your head to the tip of your toes in someone else's underwear zone, or their anything in yours".
I love being able to tell them that EVERY choice matters.
I love hearing the incredible goals they have set for their futures.
I love it when they trust me enough to ask questions.
I love questions, it shows me that they really want to be informed.
I love being able to head up X-Factor Games, because it's so much fun!
I love laughing with them.
I love telling them, some for the first time, that they are valuable and that they have worth.
I love looking at their faces as they "get it".
I love telling them that we believe that they are strong enough to set goals and boundaries and stay in them.
I love getting to know all the coaches/teachers, especially when they get into playing the games with us!
I love playing the integrity game, it's my favorite!
I love explaining integrity and honor.
I love pointing out the kids who are showing great integrity.
I love giving the students the opportunity to call out their classmates who are showing honor, and listening as they do!
I love it when the definition of integrity "clicks" and they begin to understand that they can live it!
I love reading their awesome comment cards.
I love when I read that they have changed their minds and are choosing to save their sex for marriage, because they understand their value and the value of their future.
I love that we are changing students' worldviews, therefore changing their beliefs, values, and ultimately their behavior toward a positive future!
I guess, in short, I just really love young people and I really LOVE my job!!!
We are currently preparing for Dancing with the NWA Stars event to benefit Reality Check Inc. and we are very excited about it!
Meet our "Stars" and find out more about our Dancing with the NWA Stars 2010 event here ~ http://www.realitycheckincorporated.blogspot.com/2010/08/dancing-wthe-nwa-stars.html
Also, please take a look at our website to find out more about Reality Check Inc, our impact in the community, and to submit your votes for your favorite "Star" ~ http://www.realitycheckinc.org/
Friday, August 20, 2010
Heritage High School Cross Country team hosted their 2nd Annual Twilight 5K Run on Monday! The boys ran the One Mile Fun Run!
Stretching those legs! Getting focused!
Hunter got 2nd place ~ 7.22 minutes! Check out that form!!!
Braden came in 3rd place ~ 7.52 minutes! Laying it all on the track!
So proud of my little runners! They obviously get their running skills from their mother....HAHAHAHA....ok ok so maybe they get it from their Cross Country/Track and Field Coach Daddy who has just been signed on to be sponsored by New Balance! That's right my awesome, handsome, talented, athletic hubby is being sponsored to run in road races by our local New Balance store!He has an official New Balance jersey to wear while he runs (which he did not have yet when these pics were taken), and he also gets free running shoes! Yep, he is that good! :)I am one proud wife! I love my little family of runners! I'm the cheerleader, as the boys would say! PS. Lee won that race he is running in in the pictures!!! And he won it by a long shot!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Lee and I are praying everyday for the boys and for our family's impact on the public school system that we are a part of! We are praying that our boys will be salt and light in their classes and in their school! The Lord has them where they are for a purpose. He has us, as their parents, in contact with those teachers and fellow parents for a purpose. He has Lee at that school, teaching PE, interacting with those students, teachers, administration, and parents for a purpose and a reason! We are salt and we are light, may we be saltier and brighter than ever this '10-'11 school year!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
We rented a vehicle to drive up there since it was expected to be 105+ degrees in St. Louis and our vehicles don't have the best air conditioning systems...which, by the way, it reached 110+ degrees while we were there! YUCK!! Anyway, we reserved a compact car...when we went to pick it up, this was waiting on us~Yep...after a moment of shock and some laughter, we decided to squeeze in and call it a part of the adventure. Other than the fact that the drivers seat belt smelled like it had been soaked in B.O. for about a week...It was actually really great...we could fit into some small, but fantastic parking places! The boys named it "Big Ben"!
Let me pause to say that the Garmin GPS system...saves our vacation marriage! HAHA! No trying to read and communicate over a map, which of the eight lanes to be in! Thank you, Lord for giving somebody the wisdom to invent that little miracle! Why did we wait so long to get one? :)
We visited the City Museum in the Downtown area. It was the most fun our family has ever had! So cool! It was difficult to get pictures though, because we were climbing, crawling, and playing as much as the boys were! We will DEFINITELY go back! But next time we will go when it is a bit cooler! :)
One of the boys favorite shows on television is Man v. Food on the Travel Channel! So before we went, I looked up the places that he eats at while in St. Louis. We went to two of those places (again, Thank you Garmin GPS)! It was very cool! The boys LOVED it! Here we are at Pappy's smokehouse ~
And then we went and had malts at Crown Candy Kitchen ~
Ice cream so good, it had to come from heaven! :)
We also went to the zoo...which is 1. A really great zoo and 2. Is free...so that makes it even better!!!
Can't wait for our next mini-vacation!