Tonight I was surprised, humbled, and blessed by this blog post by Lynnette Kraft over at Dancing Again, and it got me thinking that that post is almost two years old and I think you should know that...
this is me currently!
(please excuse the lack of makeup...just keeping real folks!) :)
And this blog post is still just as true and relevant to my life today as it was the day I wrote it. I still have alopecia. I'm still bald as a bug. I still have bad days, but the good far outweigh the bad. There are still days that I cry, but the days of laughter are more often than not. I'm still seeking the Lord for my worth and my identity...but to be completely honest, I still loose focus sometimes. There are still days when I throw a good ole pity party for myself, but they are becoming fewer and farther between. There are times when patches of hair will grow back and I'll get excited, but then it falls out again and I have to make a choice to believe the One who says He made me fearfully and wonderfully. There are still days when I'm not the biggest fan of the my reflection and on those days I struggle, but on those days, I still have to choose to speak God's truth to that bald girl that stares back at me in the mirror. There are days when it feels so unfair that the hair on my head, my eyelashes, and my eyebrows are not growing back, but the hair on my ARMPITS and LEGS do...I mean, come ON...Really? Such a bummer! But then I get kinda excited to shave cause it's been a while. :) (I know, I know...it sounds so very crazy to you...unless you've been in my shoes, and in that case you totally understand the celebration in that drended chore. HAHAHAHA!) There are still days I long for a full head of hair...but it's not everyday anymore.
This is still who I am. This is how God made me! I’m a wife to Lee, a mom to Hunter and Braden, a mommy to two babies in heaven, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a granddaughter, a friend, a niece, a cousin, a youth pastor’s wife, a singer, a songwriter, a worshiper and follower of Jesus Christ, and daughter of the KING of Kings; who is still bald! Is it the worst thing that could, or even has, happened to me? NO! Is it still difficult sometimes, as it would be for anyone? Absolutely! But because He is my Lord, I still worship Him always, in every season! I still trust Him in everything! He picked me up out of that dark pit and has given me joy and a new song!
Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
“The LORD has done great things for them.”
The LORD has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy....
Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.