Wednesday, April 14, 2010


I have so much on my mind as of late. It tends to be a bit overwhelming. It has made me frustrated and a little irritable. I was up til 2 am this morning. My mind refused to turn off. My thoughts have involved...
...The ins and outs copyrighting, doing a rough recording and wondering if all or just a few of the songs need to be on it, wondering whether or not studio time is in the future, feeling completely and totally unable to do all this, feeling not good enough and totally unworthy, trying to figure out the new and incredibly confusing keyboard and wondering if we will ever figure it out, trying to figure out who to involve in all this and when, thinking through how to lead worship and speak at the women's conference, knowing that I ramble and am socially awkward, knowing that this is what I'm supposed to be doing but terrified all at the same time, wondering if I'm hearing God clearly and fearing that I won't, dealing with the fear that this is all way too big for me, fearing that I won't be able to do it, fearing what others will think, letting insecurities get back in, wondering if and hoping that more songs come, wondering how exactly my blog will work into all this, nervous about possibility of an upcoming magazine article and these pics that will go with it, fearing what others will think, and once again fearing what others will think....
I have failed to taking every thought captive for the glory of God. I allowed the weapons formed against me to weigh me down. In the last two days, I have allowed my own thoughts to worm their way into my mind and therefore, forgetting to cling to the Truth. I have allowed myself to be caught in a trap of worry, which is sin plain and simple. No more...I refuse to allow it to continue. I'm pretty sick of the direction it's taking me. I am squishing these A.N.T's (Automatic Negative Thoughts). Seriously, this is ridiculous! I have circled this mountain long enough, I am turning north!!! (Deut. 2:3) I am going to TRUST Him!!! I am not going to allow the Thief to steal the excitement and joy that all this gives me!!!! I am choosing to cling to the only Truth. I am going to continue to not shrink back. I will press on, knowing that whatever God is doing is going to be big, knowing He never does anything small, and knowing that He is in control and He NEVER gives us more that we can handle. He doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. He makes me worthy through His Son!!! With Him ALL things are possible. The truth is, I'm right...I can't do this. It is too big for us alone, but we aren't doing this alone! He is doing it ALL and is guiding us every single step of the way!!!! It's in my weaknesses that HE is strong, so I will glory in my weaknesses so that Christ may be glorified!!! Oh and do I want Him to be glorified! I want that more than anything!
And about those continued thoughts about others...Who cares what people think? In everything I do, I should do it as unto God, not man! The only opinion that should matter is HIS! Is He pleased with me? Am I doing what He wants me to do? Am I following Him every step of the way? Am I seeking Him with everything in me? Is my life giving evidence that that is so? If the answer to all of those is "Yes", then what does it matter what others think? Not everyone is going to like me or us, or this thing that God is doing in our lives. Not everyone is going to be excited about it. That has to be okay with me, because it is okay! He clothes me with strength and dignity!!!
God is in control of my future, and I am not!!! He has hemmed me in, before and behind. He is working ALL things together for good! He is faithful always, even when I'm not! Thankfully, He is continuing to sanctify me through and through! He is making me more and more like His Son. He who began a good work in me is faithful to complete it! I will take captive every thought to the glory of Him! I am overwhelmingly a conqueror in Christ!!!! I can do ALL things through Him who give me strength!!! I will cling to the Truth!!!

1 comment:

Sassy Cassie said...

I am so stinking excited for you! I have been praying for you (even though I don't know all the details) but I feel that God is working something great here! love you sara

ps need any background vocals haha