Tired of every single day having to be somewhere! Tired of feeling like I don't have time! No time to clean my home and do laundry, or relax with a good book, or take my kids to the park, or bake and cook for my guys, or finish all the many projects I have started. Tired of continually feeling "behind" and trying to run to catch up.
I got into gear to settle into cleaning my house today! I was so excited that we were going to be home with NOTHING to do, when I suddenly remembered that we have a birthday party to attend, one that can not be missed.
Why? I guess it could be said that I have done this to myself. However, so much of the busy is simply(HAHA)the season of life that we are in. So much of it isn't necessarily scheduled by me, just things that we "must" attend. None of the things that are scheduled in my life are bad things, but the stress that it is putting on my spirit is almost more than I can take right now!
I'm tired of being so tired of being so busy, and then having to put on an "I love this!" face and step into that event that has me so stressed out. I want to focus on where I am and what I am doing, in the moment! I really do, but I end up just thinking about what all I need to get done and catch up on! I can put on that smile and that "I'm really loving this" face for everyone else, but my family gets the "I'm so stressed out" face as soon as we get home! That's not fair! It's not fair that I do that to the three people in this world that I love the most!!
Man, I'm tired!
I'm whining, I know I am! And I'm sorry! I just really needed to get it off my chest! Sometimes simply putting all my frustrations into words, helps so much! Then reading it back over, and putting all of that "stuff" into the strong and capable arms of my Father and then step into them myself, and rest! He can not speak to me clearly when I am running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. He wants me to BE STILL, and KNOW HE IS GOD!!!! Now, THAT'S a WORD!! :)
*Deep breath* and.......
This is the day that the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it!
Lord, help me BE STILL!!